Right now, I am feeling relieved. I am not sure why, I just do. For the first time in a long time, I don't feel anything. I love it. I just got home from the Jolly Roger. I love that place! Seriously. I took Garfield and the MO a card. I knew who she was but, could not remember the name for the life of me. I like her though. Wow, I like Garfield. He is a nice guy. There is no drama with him. He is so chill. I don't feel like I have to explain myself to him. He understands. I hope he is not a push over...Listen to me. I hope HE is. I should really be thinking, I SHOULD not be so crazy. :) I just analyze a little TOO much. i know.
Well, now I am not thinking about nothing in particular. I went to work today. Both jobs. I love mom. She is such a lady. I have so many habits I need to break. I need to post up my DO IT NOW signs. Tupac is on the cd player. I must go change it. ......ok now, the fugees are on. KILLING ME SOFTLY.....I love this album. The score. The mask...I love it!!!! What hit me at the right time of events. All I have to say "you let them kick you five times, they gonna kick you 5 times. Let them kick you 3 times, they gonna kick you 3 times. You let them kick you 2 times, they gonna kick you 2 times."....that song hit me right on the nose. I am tired of feeling like a cheap whore. I am sad that I ever felt there was something beyond just doing it. I am so over it. I keep telling myself that. I love that I can realize it more and more. I am over it. I am really over it. Wow, I sound like a weirdo. Honestly those were my exact thoughts. My mind just going.
I am now here, October 30th. I have been talking to a boy. A boy that is a gentleman. He is funny. Outgoing. I don't know. I like him. I just don't know if I would like to take him home. You know. What am I doing? Do we hang out? Was I just drunk earlier? I think so. I do like him but,not enough. I think. I should go to bed. I am going to go to bed. I have to wake up for work in the morning. I have a full week ahead of me. I really do. Good night.